Bessie’s Angels helps Northeast Ohio women who’ve aged out of foster care

Many young adults go home to their families for the holidays.

That is, if they’ve got families.

But many former foster children lack stable families. Many were taken from their natural families because of problems there. Many found new problems in one foster family after another. Now many are out of touch with both sets.

Still, a small Cleveland nonprofit called Bessie’s Angels helps young women who’ve graduated from foster care to celebrate during the holidays and to thrive year-round.

At the group’s recent holiday party, co-hosted with Cuyahoga County Children and Family Services, former foster youth Abigail Wrayno said of Bessie’s leaders, “They are family. It can be difficult to work with people like us. We have a lot of anger. They work through it with us. That’s what family is: support and love.”

All young adults face challenging transitions to independence. But many can bring their troubles and their laundry home, then come away with cookies, money, advice, encouragement and love. 

They’ll face new challenges over the decades but always have that support, at least in memory. Bessie’s founder and leader, Tonya Perkins-Stoudermire, age 64, spent most of the party outside the room, saying she wanted to spare guests the sight of her face, haggard from chemotherapy for aggressive breast cancer. Still, she said she felt comforted by her late mother, who’d raised her. “I could hear my mom saying, ‘Everything’s going to be OK.’ Our [former foster] kids don’t have that voice in their heads.” 

Instead, former foster children typically remember many voices, some sweet, some harsh. An estimated 90 percent of foster children are exposed to trauma in their biological homes, foster homes or both. Up to 30 percent have post-traumatic stress disorder.

Banking on help

Perkins-Stoudermire founded Bessie’s Angels in 2011 and named it for her late grandmother, Bessie Perkins. The granddaughter was working at Fifth Third Savings at Lee Miles. “When you’re a banker,” said Perkins-Stoudermire, now a vice president and community redevelopment officer at Flagstar Bank, “it’s almost like being a bartender. People come and tell you their deepest secrets.”

She met a few young female clients who’d aged out of foster care. They didn’t seem to have been taught routine life skills like handling money. A couple had been tricked into sending it to scammers. 

Now, on a budget of about $250,000 per year, Perkins-Stoudermire and a few volunteers help about 25 former foster girls per month, ages 18 to 24. They provide rent checks, bus passes, gift cards, occasional meals, free stores, free use of laundry machines, a mobile pantry, referrals to other services, monthly gatherings, and lessons in banking, budgeting, cooking, cleaning, relationships and more.

They also run three small residential houses called Bessie’s Places in Cleveland Heights, East Cleveland and Garfield Heights. The county pays the rent of residents under 21. 

Above all, Bessie’s gives its members advice and support. “They can mess up, and we’re going to forgive them,” said Perkins-Stoudermire. “We aren’t going to turn our back on our kids.”

A party with a purpose

Even at its holiday party, held at Cuyahoga Community College Metropolitan Campus, Bessie’s leaders gave life lessons to some 30 guests. Consultant Lisa Burgess had them improvise skits about spending Christmas bonuses from work. She cast some guests as spendthrifts.

“Christmas must be perfect!” Wrayno told pretend shopkeeper Chris Anderson, vice president of a county group for former foster children called Future Advocates and Leaders. “Take my mortgage payment! Take my first-born! I need everything!”

“There’s a no-return policy on all these things,” Anderson warned her. “If you have any questions, contact the Better Business Bureau.”

Burgess cast other party guests as smart shoppers. Jakiah Moore said, “I’m going to get a few little decorations and make my gifts.” She turned to some other guests. “Would you help me make them?” They all agreed.

Guests also staged a pretend snowball fight. The snowballs were scrunched-up pieces of paper bearing words of financial wisdom, such as, “A budget is telling your money where it’s going instead of wondering where it went.”

Leaving families behind

At the end of June, Cuyahoga County had 1,148 foster children. Perkins-Stoudermire said that their path can be traumatic from the start. “Kids love their parents. When you are 6 or 7, you do not understand why someone would take you from your mother.”

A foster child may be taken from many families in turn. According to the Annie E. Casey Foundation, 35 percent of the nation’s 391.641 foster children were reassigned three or more times in 2021. Bessie’s member Hannah Leszyeski said she’d been placed 32 times in either private homes or institutions.

Most people are emancipated from foster care between 18 and 21. They keep getting money and guidance from the county until 2 1. Their struggles seldom end when foster care does. 

Between ages 19 and 21, according to the Casey Foundation, about 30 percent of emancipated youths become homeless, about 20 percent become incarcerated, and 23 percent become parents. At 21, just 57 percent have full or part-time jobs.

Some members of Bessie’s Angels say that their foster pasts still haunt them. A young mother of two said, “It makes me nervous with my parenting. I want to do better than what I was provided with as a child.”

But most members said that on balance they’re doing well now. Most are working, going to college or both. All have homes.

“It’s OK to come from a foster home,” said Cassidy Greene. “You can go down the right path or the wrong path.” 

Several said that foster care strengthened them. “I’m a lot more mature than other 19-year-olds and more grateful for what I have,” said Wrayno. “I don’t take anything for granted.”

Many people have gone from foster care to fame, including Simone Biles, Pierce Brosnan, Eddie Murphy, Cher, Seal, Alonzo Mourning, and Samantha Morton.

Bessie’s future

Bessie’s Angels plans soon to raise funds for a fourth residential home, this one on Cleveland’s East Side. And the group’s ailing leader is seeking more volunteers to keep it going without her if necessary. She said, “The train is going to leave the station whether I go with it or not.”

To learn more about Bessie’s Angels, see bessiesangels.org.